Facing Facebook

Tonia got me curious about this facebook thing, so I thought I'd give it a try.

I was nervous about giving so much personal information, but at least I could choose to withhold stuff I really didn't want to share, so it wasn't so bad. I don't really want people from my office finding me there, although I already found a couple of them, so I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

I guess online communities like this foster the idea that people are real, even online. Other online "places" seem to encourage people to pretend to be things they're not...fake names, fake personas. Say what you want, do what you want. No accountability.

On Facebook, unless you really don't care what people think of you and have no fear of losing friends, pissing off your family or possibly losing the respect of your colleagues, or maybe even losing your job...well, you have to behave yourself. Act like a real person, which is what you are.

It's like we've come full circle. At first the Internet was this big scary mysterious place, then it became a refuge where we could pretend to be whatever we wanted to be. And now we're real again, in a real world with other real people.

I found four or five friends on Facebook almost the minute I logged in for the first time. Three of whom I still see regularly in real life. One ex boyfriend. Another buddy who used to be part of the gang till he got married, and one other, very close friend who I've barely seen or talked to in more than fifteen years. I found out her husband passed away several months ago. He had been the best man at my wedding.

You discover terrible things when you reconnect with old friends after a long period of time. It makes you think. Makes you rearrange your priorities. For me, living alone for so long, I've become very self-involved and sometimes find outside influences (friends and family) to be somewhat of a nuisance.

I feel very guilty to admit that, but there you have it. But I'm thinking twice about that attitude now. Learning a loved one has died. Being separated from my family and friends all of last year. It's made me think. And even though I'm going to have to force myself to be more available to my people, I will do it. It's not worth the results if you don't.