The next big step

Written October 10/05

Two weeks ago, the vice-president of my division, a man who's the boss of about 4,000 people, phoned me up. He said he was considering a new project, and wanted to know my thoughts on it before he put a lot more energy into the idea. Then he told me some information about one of our sectors having done poorly lately, so he wanted to do something to help us regain what we've lost, and hopefully more. The way he phrased it, I knew exactly what he was hinting at, and I told him so, but I reined in my excitement and let him go on.

He said "we're thinking about releasing a few people from their regular duties for a period of about one year to work on this special project. It could be done one of two ways: you could work out of Ottawa and fly back and forth to Halifax quite often, or you could relocate to Halifax for a year."

When he asked if I was interested, I told him OF COURSE!! And when he asked if I'd be willing to move to Halifax for a year, I said I'd be interested and would certainly consider it. Basically, I told him on the spot that I would do it.

So this is pretty damn exciting! I wrote to him a couple of days later to say thanks for thinking of me for this. He wrote back and said that, when his company first bought the newspaper I originally worked for, several of his colleagues thought my position should go to the "incumbent"... the gal who already worked for them who was doing the job - essentially meaning I would be demoted. But, even though I don't speak French (my company is based in Montreal and is 95% French), he made the decision to give the job to me. He said every time he sees me or thinks about me, he's proud of himself for making that decision.

This opportunity comes right on the tail of another, similar project I just finished working on. If it goes through, this would mean I will have put my creative fingerprint on every product in my division. I have often said the last project was the high-point of my career. This would be even bigger.

But now I'm starting to have misgivings. Maybe it's because I've had two weeks to mull it over with no further word from the VP. My fears and insecurities are beginning to creep up on me. The first fear I had, which actually surfaced pretty much immediately - like, while I was still on the phone with the VP two weeks ago - was the fear of being away from my mother for so long. But one year is not all that long, and I'm pretty sure the company would pay to let me visit home a few times during the year. The first thing I did after hanging up with the VP that day was to write to my mother and tell her what had happened. She insists that I not let my concern for her stand in the way of any opportunities I might be given. So that took care of that.

Then a few days later I had a chat with my old boss, who now works out of Nova Scotia. She said it's possible this project might last longer than two years, and then she went on to say something like "who knows, you might like it out here so much, you'll want to stay." Okay...so now we're taking about two years, which somehow seems like a much longer time to me than twice the amount of one year. One year feels temporary...two years feels like a committment.

So now I'm thinking about all the pain and parlarver of moving...not just once, but twice in a year, to another province. Just the thought of moving exhausts me. My back is so bad these days that packing and stacking boxes could be a problem. My energy level is the pits due to low iron and B12 levels. They're slowly getting better, but still, I'm a weak kitten. Then there's all the bother of changing addresses and phone numbers and internet accounts...this was my big worry last night, and that's when it suddenly occurred to me:

The last time I tried to get a new service (a cell phone) the company insisted on a $500 security deposit because I'd been bankrupt a few years ago. The thought that I might be expected to do this by any new service providers in Nova Scotia really had me upset last night. With the cell phone, I ended up having to get the bills sent directly to my company (they were going to be paying them anyway, but usually it's a pay it yourself and then get reimbursed situation). I had to humiliate myself with my boss and the office manager, tell them I couldn't get the phone because I'd been bankrupt, and ask them to make special arrangements for me. The idea that I'd have to go through that again to get a phone, internet, cable tv and whatever out in NS really bothered me last night. Had me in tears, in fact, because I felt so frustrated. I know I shouldn't let that stop me from taking the opportunity in Nova Scotia (if it's even offered to me - they haven't given me a final decision yet), but it's making it harder for me to just go there without worries and complications.

The other thing that worried me was my apartment. At first I wondered if the company would somehow let me hold on to my current place, while I pay rent out in Nova Scotia, or vice-versa. I thought surely they wouldn't make me give it up. I mean, what if I owned my own home...they wouldn't make me sell it just for a one-year relocation, would they? My old boss says there's no way they'd let me keep my place. So, even though apartments are MUCH cheaper in NS, I will probably be facing higher rent when I return to Ottawa. I haven't had a rent increase here in three years - there's no way I'll find a place as nice as this for the same rent after a year of being away.

I had considered putting 90% of my stuff in storage for the year and renting a furnished apartment in Halifax. I'm still considering that. Depends though - it might be cheaper for me to bring all my stuff back and forth, since the company will pay to move me. If I store it all, I might end up spending 200-300 a month for storage. I'll have to look into that. I can ship my car, which is good, as I don't want to drive it that far...it's 15 years old now, and reliable, but I would be nervous about driving it to Nova Scotia, especially by myself.

I've already been online looking for rental apartments. It appears that I'll be renting for $200-300 less per month than I do here in Ottawa, which will be a bonus. I can save up a lot of money in a year. The cost of other things seems to be about the same, though gas is quite a bit more. I haven't really looked into it that closely yet.

The opportunity to live in another part of the country is exciting for me. I've lived in Eastern and Southern Ontario, and on the Coast of BC. I've lived in 8 different cities in my life. I enjoyed the opportunity, when I went to BC, to get to know a few different places by living in them for a few years. This would take me to the other end of the country. I might have the opportunity to visit some of our offices in Newfoundland and other eastern provinces...maybe Saskatchewan too, as there are offices out there that would be impacted by this project. So lots of opportunity to get around, meet new people, see new places and grow my reputation within the company, and possibly beyond.

I'd be a fool to turn it down, but still...I'm worried.