Uncluttering

I'm on vacation this week. One of my goals while I'm off is to do some major uncluttering in my apartment.

When I first returned to Ontario after living in B.C. for seven years, I had practically nothing to my name. Just a few moving boxes filled with clothes and some precious things I couldn't part with, plus my grandmother's hope chest. I had already lost about half of my stuff in 1997 during The Great Divide, which is what I call the distribution of belongings that took place when my ex and I parted ways. That went pretty smoothly, all things considered. I don't recall any arguments over who got what.

In 1998, I decided to come back to Ontario. Because of a screw-up about reserving a U-Haul for all my stuff, I was forced to sell almost everything I owned at the last minute before leaving. All my furniture. A really nice TV. Almost every book I owned (which broke my heart...they're among the few things I still miss). I also had to give up my two little dogs, Edgy and Opal. I had nowhere of my own to live when I came back here, and so I had to find new homes for them. To this day, I can't look at their photos without feeling a stabbing pang of guilt. I still haven't been able to bring myself to watch the video we shot of them playing on the beach. Now that I no longer have a VCR, I probably never will.

I think I got about $250 for everything I owned. A pittance. It was almost embarrassing to have the man from the second-hand store come into my home and walk out with mostly everything I owned. It was as if I'd defaulted on a loan and the bank was coming to sell off all my stuff to get their money back. Pathetic.

So, when I walked into my first apartment in Ontario (in Prescott - a depressing little place if there ever was one), basically all I had to my name were my essential possessions and a brand new, albeit cheap, bedroom set I was given as a rental signing bonus. I still use it. My aunt and uncle were very generous, giving me dishes and kitchen stuff that they'd had in storage. I bought a cheapo used dining room set so I'd have somewhere to sit (I still use that too), and I got a creaky old white laminate Ikea desk from someone. That was all I had.

Now, 11 years later, I have fully-furnished a two bedroom apartment which is practically overflowing with stuff. I've bought and filled two full-sized Billy bookcases and the only reason I haven't purchased a third is that I don't want to pay the $75 delivery fee. (Anyone out there have a van or a truck they can help me get a bookcase with?) I have a poorly-laid out kitchen which is overflowing with things I never use. My spare bedroom is knee-deep in boxes I've never unpacked, stuff for crafts I don't do anymore, computer detritus and unfiled paperwork. The living room is cluttered with the small things I use from day-to-day. Nana's hope chest is my coffee table, but it's hidden under my computer and layers of Toasmasters magazines and CD jewel boxes and books I intend to read and...and...and. It's ridiculous. There's about six square inches left over for me use the mouse and set down a cold drink (on a coaster...always).

The only half-way uncluttered place in my home is the dining room, and even that was recently cluttered too. I moved all the stuff from there into the spare bedroom, where I plan to create a pleasant workspace for when I work on my novel.

It's almost impossible not to wind up buried in clutter if you're not really disciplined about it. You have to make a decision about every object that comes into your hands before you put it down. And never put it down where it doesn't belong, because if you're like me, it'll probably stay there until you need it and then you won't be able to find it and then you'll get pissed off and stressed out and it'll all turn into a huge unpleasant monumental thing that needs to get done but is so overwhelming that you don't even know where to start, so you avoid and avoid and eventually they find you buried under your clutter, killed by a toppling pile of old bills and unread books.

So sad.

So, I'm really just trying to avoid an ignominious death by getting rid of as much unneeded stuff as I can this week. I'm starting by getting rid of any actual junk that I could never give away or donate somewhere. I've got a carpet cleaner coming in on Wednesday afternoon to do my foyer, so I'll need to get everything out of there and dealt with. There isn't much. I should venture into the storage closet. That'll be scary. I can barely get in there for all the stuff I've put in it to get it out of the way. Goodness knows what I'll find.

One time, I read that Leonard Cohen lives in a big house that's all painted white, and it's practically empty. No pictures on the walls, no nick-nacks. All the flat surfaces pristine and empty. I don't quite want to go as far as that...but maybe halfway. I like a home that looks lived in, but things have really gotten out of hand here.

Once I figure out what's worth trying to give away, I may post photos, or at least a list, on facebook so people I know can tell me if they want any of it. Hey, maybe if I give away something good enough, I can talk the recipient into helping me go get another Billy bookcase so I can continue accumulating books! LOL...books are the one thing I'll never try to curb my appetite for.